I like this Sharon. You always find something that gets me thinking.
To “surrender” has a common connotation of “giving up” – of being a “quitter”, or “losing” or being “defeated”. No wonder we have issues with it. But that is not the sense of the word as used here.
To surrender has a sense of release, to let go, to accept, to trust, even to go forward in life...
Feel the tension of what holds you back – the subtle non-verbal sense of tension(resistance) may be the first and most intimate guide to change.
As with a rubber band, it takes two concerns (say, a vision on one hand, and a tradition/rule bound behavior on the other, for example) to hold it in place to create a “tension” or conflict. It can be worthwhile to reflect on the “headed to” direction as well as the “coming from”.
With too much baggage to carry around, we fall short of experiencing the unbearable lightness of being. Passion (ambition) for example, is a disposition where one abandons oneself to the future for the sake of creating a different future, speaking and acting with courage (from the heart). It involves a kind of overcoming self-consciousness, and the habit of actions we maintain to “make us look good and acceptable”. Ironically, being bold has a subtext said with a slight smile of “I feel like an idiot”, especially when you literally and figuratively “stick your neck out”. Have you ever heard someone say “Be a fool for…[and and then insert your cause here..]” and know what they mean?
Holding on too long is a common pathology interfering with change. To hold on to our social and psychic defenses, we can end up interfering subconsciously with our transformative changes. Imagine what happens when we get out of our own way? (Like, I have met the enemy of change, I see him every morning in the mirror J) Speaking from experience, figuring it out ahead of time is an enemy of learning. Sometime, you just got to jump into the pool.
It helps to cultivate non-verbal skills to cope with existential angst and boldness, especially enthusiasm. Sometimes thinking is not supported and aligned with feeling and moving. No wonder it’s hard to get it all together to make a change. We were never trained that way to see thinking and feeling and moving as mutually related and influencing aspects of the system we call being human.
Nothing better than a beloved friend or coach to therapist or pastor or spouse to be the mirror that allows for change. Those are unique and rare relationships. As the ancient Greeks said, “Know they self”.
Now we get a sense of the wonder and mystery of being human. Be kind, be compassionate. We are all in it together.
Bill
